Baby Santosha's Birth Story
written for Samara (her Mom), Uri (her Dad), Rex (her 3 year old brother), and Santosha (herself, a newborn baby girl).

On Monday Samara went for her regular (38wk) Doctor's appointment. Upon examination, the Doctor said to her (something like), "Oh. You are 3-4 centimeters dilated and I can feel the head of your baby! You'll have your baby by the end of the week! Do you want me to rupture your membranes?" Samara called me right away and let me know. She didn't feel the need to have her membranes ruptured artificially and wanted to let things take their course naturally. She wasn't feeling any contractions yet and I could hear her feel a bit anxious. Within the next couple of days her mucous plug began to appear and she was experiencing pre-labor, feeling Braxton-Hicks contractions. She was feeling confused and anxious as she wasn't having any signs of early labor and wanted to make sure this was normal.

We met on Wednesday evening and had our second prenatal visit together. We talked about Samara's current feelings, what the Braxton-Hicks contractions were feeling like, her sleeping patterns, how Uri came home from work early that Tuesday (and he almost never does that) and the work (sending writing samples to interested publishers) she wanted to get done prior to Santosha's birth. Samara also shared feelings about family members and friends who were going to be around to help out with different aspects of her labor process and when Santosha was first born. We also practiced some different positions for labor and I gave her a massage. Rex jumped on both of us while we were practicing and let us know how important getting his Mom's attention was to him. We both did our best to listen and respect his needs. The massage seemed to feel good and then trying out the positions was helpful, although a bit tedious, considering how nice it felt to help Samara relax. Rex really wanted Samara to read to him. He had been patient for a long time and had played really nicely with Uri. Uri changed Rex's diaper and played with him some more. He tried to get Rex to take a nap, but Rex wasn't having it. Rex knew what he wanted. Soon I left and you all had family time.

We checked in with each other almost everyday and then I received a phone call on Sunday morning (almost one week later). Tamra let me know she was having irregular, short contractions. I asked her what she was feeling through each. Tamra was able to walk and talk through them and was feeling confident. Family was coming over for the day, so we decided to check in with one another a bit later. We spoke at about 3:45pm and Samara let me know about her progressing, but somewhat inconsistent contractions, and the bloody show she had experienced throughout the day. I advised her to give her Doctor a call and let her know what was going on. At 4:00pm Uri called me back and let me know, their doctor had recommended they come to the hospital and asked if I could meet them there. I met them outside at 4:30pm. At about 5:15pm, the Doctor on staff did another vaginal and said she was 7 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced!!! Samara's spirits were much high now and she walked and talked for a couple more hours. We all sat with Samara's mother and father and spoke for a while in a waiting area. We also listened to Cesaria Evoria and Samara danced a bit. Samara did such a wonderful job using her own voice and mind. When she had questions about what kinds of procedures were being done, or even whether they needed to be done, she spoke up. When the contractions began to intensify (somewhere between 7 and 7:30pm). Samara almost immediately let me know she wanted me to massage her legs and feet and without anyone saying anything to him, Uri held onto her hand and was so fully present for her. She began chanting. It was beautiful chanting. Sometimes higher pitch and sometimes lower pitch. Intermittently the Doctor and/or nurses (at this point a new nurse came on, relieving the first one for dinner.

The contractions were reaching peak levels now. Samara knew exactly what she needed. Every single time a contraction would start she looked to me, and Uri and let us know exactly where she wanted us and that she needed us there. Towards the end of this active phase when the contractions got to their highest intensity she had a few times where in her chanting, she seemed close to being a little out of control. She had told us that she used to chant with a friend of hers years ago, during college, and they would get to the point where they couldn't tell whose voice was whose, because they were so in synch. During the times when I felt she might appreciate someone else being there with her, I would match my voice (lightly, but present) to hers and let her know we were still there and so was she. Sometimes, I would remind her to relax her jaw and would always praise her in between contractions. Both Samara and Uri were really amazing at accepting this part of the process and working through the pain. It was also very helpful that he nurses and the doctor were supportive of how she was coping. Her husband and I remained doing the exact same things for the next hour or so during this active phase in labor and into 2nd stage (pushing).

It was incredible to be able to be there for Samara and Uri and know that as I massaged and kept my focus on Samara, there was this very special link between all of us. During her last vaginal exam at 8:30pm her doctor let her know she was fully effaced and fully dilated and she could begin pushing. Samara had a transitional moment where she cried and one could literally see her prepare herself to give birth. You could see her feel a bit of fear and lots of hope and almost being on the tip of, "is this really going to happen?"

She pushed. She pushed. She pushed. Santosha was born at 8:38pm. She was cleaned off and taken to a warmer for a few minutes and then placed on Samara's stomach. Samara kept saying, "this is so surreal!"…At the same time she would look to Uri and had an immense amount of connection towards him, as they spent their first few minutes with Santosha, now that she was born into our world.

During this early postpartum period I took a couple of photographs of Samara and Santosha, and Uri and Santosha. I also went out and got some nourishment and just generally hung out. One thing that seemed simple and yet significant was eating and nourishing ourselves. It was the first time we had done this together. Samara, knowing her husband, knew exactly what he would like from the deli and she gave me a list of things to get. I also bought olives, hummus and a bagel (for myself). The breaking of bread at that moment with that was a significant part of the early postpartum experience. We all ate at different times and even in transition from one room to the next, but we all ate, and we were all there for each other. This is quite symbolic of how I perceive Samara and Uri's relationship with one another and their family and friends--very giving, very accepting, little by little, and ongoing.